Thursday, December 15, 2011

Come on, get happy

Avila Pier on the morning of my birthday in early November.
I've been battling the so called "seasonal mood disorder" and thought I could pull out of it by making a holiday mix CD. My husband listened to my first version and was concerned. He declared it "melancholy." I've improved it. It seems pretty good now.

As I faced going to my annual gyno exam, I thought I'd feel better once it was behind me. Never expected to be scheduling an ultrasound for a discovered pulsating mass in my upper abdomen. Instead of feeling sad, I was freaking out a little last night. Fear & uncertainty.

What can I do besides scare the bejesus outta myself by googling abdominal aortic aneurysm? Well, I looked through recent photos I'd taken on my phone and discovered this one. It was a pretty good photo but came to life when I tweaked the colors a bit in photoshop elements. I don't know what's around the corner; could be nothing -- could be something pretty shitty. I'm going to try really hard to enjoy the days ahead.  Maybe some baking today and a walk outside. A movie?


Pam said...

Sending you thoughts, love, and prayers. When is your ultrasound?

Trish said...

Ooh that's no fun at all. Baking and long outdoor walks are very therapeutic, though. All the best!

Lee said...

Thanks, Pam. The ultrasound is on Wed morning. I have to fast for 12 hrs -- both food & water. :(

I'm starting to think more positively about the situation though. No more googling for me!

Thanks, Trish. Seeing a movie turned out to be a great distraction. Will try the walk & maybe some baking today.